Art: Zero-Gravity Produce & More! :D 


“Still Life 5” - Tall rect. w/blurry brown/beige living room background, flipped upside-down so floor is ceiling & vice versa. “Carpet” of cloudy blue sky. Arranged in a semi circle: 3 yellow apples, an eggplant, a papaya, 3 gold teaspoons, a 1930s print of 2 yellow/purple tulips, a child’s saddle shoe, and a white chest w/a yellow & white bouquet atop it. Text: “We expect more ripening soon.”

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Art: Pastel Man Is Watching YOU! ;) 

“My Man 8” - Tall rect. in toothy pastels, mostly pink & yellow. @ left: 1950s guy in gray pants & blue shirt holds a yellow-edged red & pink painting of a 5-petaled bright yellow flower. 3 graduated-size yellow beds descend @ lower R. Trim: scattered, blurred yellow rosette shapes, and faded blue stamp pattern @ upper L. of a 1950s hausfrau. Text: “He’ll never talk about his fears.”

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“Ghost Of Yesterday” - Fat horizontal rect. w/brushstrokes in white, gray, bright blue, and reddish brown. Strokes are horizontal, but vertical at center w/faint circular marks @ top & bottom. 6 vertical black cables of varied opacity bend to make shapes suggesting an inverted guitar body or a Greek amphora. 3 white & brown oval lamp shades of decreasing size descend down the center.

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“Harvest Moon” - Square comp. in toothy dull yellow. Five rust-colored, spiky token-ish flower shapes in a semi-circle. Behind them: faint crackle texture, a "+" shape w/gray ring @ center, 4 translucent white circle (upper L.) , and a tipped, dull gray ellipse. Trim: 4 vari-sized circles made of pearl, glass, or the large bud/center of a yellow flower.

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Revealed: The Truth About CWs 

Their main function is to build up everyone's hopes that they're gonna' read the most scandalous, beyond-the-pale shit in the history of online. But then they click and it's just you posting more about cats. Psych!!

“Little Banana 7” - Rect. comp. w/blue edge. Op Art-y yellow swatches in yellow or purple w/latter in “S” shape. Man & woman: him in shorty mauve pajamas, her in elaborate 1940s purple suit w/fur stole. They look @ ea. other from opp. sides. Center: 3 open gold compacts & 3 half-peeled bananas in 3 sizes. Trim: 2 gold frames, a half-plate of sliced bananas, and a powder tin w/its floral pattern copied twice. Text: “Still hoping for that perfect fit.”

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“Tick Tock 2” - Square w/watery, streaky leaf-green background. Pink square over it: pinched to look like an unfolded kerchief. Watery pinks over it w/piped edge. 4 green leaf round “tokens,” one at ea. corner. Diamond shape inside in off-white has bust of a 1950s male figure in a pink-checked shirt & dk. hair. His 3/4-view head/face is mostly obscured by 2 opalescent copies of a white clock face showing 20 after 8.

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Art: 1950s Parents & Weird Kid Watching YOU! 

“Last Winter” - Tall wood frame on lt. yellow mat w/inverted “V” shadow box effect inside. 4 Vari-textured background sections in green and blue. Blue sky strip up top w/partial 3/4 of man & woman facing left. Below: girl in snowflake sweater and glassy, pointy-eared helmet faces front, w/glass house shape behind her. Trim of 5 scattered snowflakes & 2 palm trees. Text: “The Americas’ Favorite Uneven System."

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“Rusty” - Square comp. in white with dark orange edge. Large floral shape in mostly grainy browns with dark red, gray, & black trim. Large, bulbous “plus” shape with curved, shiny metal edge. Translucent 16-spoked circle studded with 2 sets of small lights (1 ovoid & 1 rectangular). Small white plate with autumn leaves painted on is set at center. 2nd plate over it turned and @ 1/2 opacity so the leaf pattern is doubled.

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Art: Hot Cocoa Out Of Season 

“Thoughts Of You” - Tall rectangle in bright red with white “cream” strips @ left & right, rimmed with dark blue. 6 white hot cocoa cups arranged vertically in an “S” shape. Crossed @ center by a long dark blue ellipse w/white criss-crossed lines inside, plus tiny, head-on, brown jet plane. 2 small wood strips @ ea. corner in brown & white, ea. next to 2 pennies. Wavy blue text @ L. & R.- “Simple solutions to”… “Create your own…”

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“Royal Roost (Lucky) 7” - Square comp with LP in center. It has a patchy light green label decorated with a stack of 7 white ellipses & a faint flower bouquet. Background is fuzzy, crackled tones of watery blues and greens w/vari-sized white & blue ellipse stacks. Trim: 7 B&W square tiles in rows at top & bottom each with a carved wooden rooster in profile. Tiny cursive text: “Beautiful, original” copied twice near corners.

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“Take A Ride” - A long rectangle in variegated light green tones. Pics of Cubist ladies playing cards, a 1960s green card table w/2 folding chairs on light brown, & a 1950s girl in white on roller skates. A gold-trimmed frame, 5 interweaving light brown thin wood planks & 4 crossed leafy green & dark blue glass rods behind them. Other trim: 2 playing cards & a red ball. Text: “Like this… most modern… made with…”

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Vintage Coffee Ad, Regal Monopolies, 1960 

"The coffee you'd drink if you owned ALL the coffee in the world." --Maryland Club Coffee

Ah, yes. The stiff, unwieldy dry-clean-only tea gown, the disdainful expression, the almost-Vanderbilt coiffure, and finally: holding the cup and saucer like you're about to wade ribs-deep through starving peasantry. By coincidence, this is also me every morning just before I arrive on the Fedi:

Art: A (but not THE) Big Bird Is Watching You!! 

“Woman & Bird 4” - Tall rectangle of purple “moonlight” garden scene w/glowy pink & red blooms, a crooked white fence, & faint green hills in background. A very large metal bird in orange & yellow w/green crest & wing-tip & long beak stands in profile & faces left. A tiny 1950s woman in a yellow dress w/her face & torso in heavy white light looks up in the bird’s direction.

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Art: Oh No It's Pie Again?! 

“Angel Pie 11” - Tall rect. in blobby dk. blue. Leaf-pattern red fabric strip @ L. Thick yellow band @ bottom. Thin red band @ R. White diagram showing a circle cut in even wedges @ top R. Trim: a pie in a silver pan w/white filling & a red spiral of sauce, a notepad w/a spiral diagram in red ink & a pencil, 3 red dots, faded vari-sized copies of the pie, & a small 1950s photo of 2 women working by a stove. Text: “Fluffy Angel Pie.”

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1938 Birthday Card: Teddy Bear & Giant Burger. Future Meme? 

L. Closed, w/text: "Birthday Greetings. I know my onions."

R. Open. Now the lid is off the burger to reveal the lovely rings. Text: "So I won't BREATHE A WORD. But I'm sure STRONG for wishing you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyhow!"

There was probably a huge Hallmark fandom war about why the bear lost their pink bow in Phase Two.

Instance Block Rec: fedi.z0ne.moe - Edgelordy Shit 

Not much traffic, but then there's the oh-so-witty equating of a BLM-friendly search function with the persecution of Jews in Nazi Germany, as recently as late July.

🙄

Art: Summery Abstract Figure w/Eye Contact 

“Old-Fashioned Girl” - Square comp., banded @ top & bottom w/pink & a bit of orange brush work. @ center: front view of a Cubist lady made of 3 white, vari-sized circular outlines w/bisected accents of blue, purple, and “pink.” One eye, half a red mouth. She’s watched fr. L & R by 2 photos of young 1950s guys in swim trunks on the beach. Other trim: regular & asemic type, 3 brown seashells, & 3 square buttons.

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Art: Dessert + Cartoony Violence 

“Buzzard’s Bake Shop 11” - Patches of cream, brown, yellow, & blue in varied textures/sizes. Fem. w/her face covered by a thermometer. Top of her head is cut & tipped sideways. Below her: 6 buttons in red, blue, or beige over yellow diamond tiles. Other trim: a chocolate-yellow cake roll, a hand, a block of cookbook text, & 2 tiny drawings of men in 1940s suits & hats. Text: “What is it about you that always pushes my buttons?”

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Art- Eyes Watching You & Other Weirdness 

“Our Hour” - Tall rect. w/2 golden yellow & bright pink triangles in center to make an hourglass shape. Background: horizontal bands of warped, white-flowered fabric swatches @ top & bottom in red, yellow, blue, & pink. In middle are two close-ups in bright blue of a woman’s face, one turned upside-down. Ea. has a “monocle” of yellow & red circles over the left eye. Text: “It’s spin time again, old friend.”

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