Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health say, + 

So I was hanging with Sweet Pages yesterday and she gets a lot of my time, which is affects my routine.

Now, with my particular struggles, my routine is everything. It just helps keep everything in front of me and manageable.

Spending so much time with her has really affected the consistency of that routine and that... unease kind of built up over the last few weeks.

And yesterday was a hard day.

Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health say, + 

Sweet Pages is an outgoing person and I'm more of a homebody, so we're still figuring out what the middle is. We talk about our particular challenges a lot, which is very good for what we're building.

However talking about and seeing it is two different things.

Yesterday I was just off from the jump and I should have just stayed in, but Sweet Pages works a ton, so the weekend are when we spend time, so I just rolled with it.

Man...

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

First we went to the vet for her dog and I was just so on edge, I was trying to focus and get it together. We hadn't eaten anything either, so that didn't really help.

So while I was going through that, we had to walk, and I'm not a fan of walking for blocks and blocks, to get food and we hit a few crowds b/c there were multiple festivals that day and I don't do well at all with crowds.

It was just one thing after the other.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

By the time we got to the food spot, I was just ready to *run away* because my anxiety was spiking and I felt like it was getting away from me.

Sweet Pages knew something was up, so she asked and I took a few moments to try and put it into words.

I told her I thought I felt she was being inconsiderate by taking me through a couple of situations that are triggers for me when I'm anxious.

I said I don't think she was, but that' show I felt.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

She kind of took it in and thought about it and said she was sorry she wasn't more mindful and she started tearing up while she talked and I asked what was happening.

She takes a moment to get herself together and tells me she's been working on not feeling like her value is not connected to fixing everyone's problems, which she always feels like she has to do, which leads to a particular reaction with her.

I just sit and listen.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

She said she probably wasn't fully aware of how my challenges manifest, and I just nodded because that's fair.

And I said I don't want to blame her for what I'm going through, because that's on me, but I wanted to tell her where I was and how I felt and why my mood was just off today.

We left the pizza spot and just walked around and talked for awhile about our challenges and how we could make it feel less bottomless for each other.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

It was an intense kind of day, but we never yelled or tried to make the other person feel bad or anything like that.

We just... talked.

Normally, I don't talk about my anxiousness when it gets bad. I just kind of disappear and deal with it until I'm o.k.

I really felt like running away, but I kind of just stuck I stuck it out and used my words and talked and it was very, very helpful.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

We spent the rest of the day together and it was fun.

I feel like we gave space to each other while we were going through our respective struggles and kind of found each other again through the haze of it.

It was a very hard day for me, but it was one of the few times I didn't feel absolutely alone when I'm feeling like that and it was ok that I wasn't at my best, which I often feel like I have to be.

So it turned out to be a great day too.

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Hanging with Sweet Pages, rough mental health day, + 

@Are0h Aw that’s fantastic. 😊

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