Our house of neurodivergent people has found a thing useful: when approaching someone and not sure if they are in a conversational headspace, just say “engage?” as in is it ok to engage with you now, no problem either way just nod or shake head or say no. It’s minimal interruption and there’s no judgement either way.

@smerp how is that any different than just saying "Hello".

@nickchavie Hello is fine, but it depends on how the other person interprets it. I think it varies with each person and how they deal with such situations. Like sometimes I'll say "I'm having trouble processing," otherwise it just looks like I'm frustrated. @smerp

@nickchavie @smerp hello is a greeting, this is an explicit request for consent to engage in talk. I hate to deal with implicit questions, and by "hello", i feel you either try to imply that you'd like to talk and ask if i want to (in which case, just fucking ask, hence "engage?" is a good fit) or you are trying to talk without taking my consent into point and it'll just at best feel meh, at worse aggressive.


At worst, she said at worst aggressive. I don't know what your point is here, but can you try and listen to neurodivergent people and how they (like to) experience the world? Because this felt extremely dismissive and needlessly mean spirited.

@GLaDTheresCake In my opinion, no one is ever going to say "Engage" because it is preposterous. Neurodivergent people have always existed and have worked their asses off to contribute and join society. We are no longer heading in that direction because of arbitrary semantics.

@smerp I should try this with my wife! Thank you! Both of us are neurodivergent and have those moments.

@smerp Earthdawn trolls do this. Their greeting is "Vo'darr", literally "I see you". If the other troll replies, "I see you", then they have acknowledged each other and may now converse. If the troll does not see you, continuing to speak to them is an invasion of their privacy, unless their safety is at stake. For trolls, privacy is in the mind. If you do not acknowledge each other, they have privacy even if they're right next to you. Never stare at a troll unless they invite you to.

@smerp stealing this for our house of neurodivergent people
Sign in to participate in the conversation

Mastodon.ART — Your friendly creative home on the Fediverse! Interact with friends and discover new ones, all on a platform that is community-owned and ad-free. Admin: @Curator. Currently active moderators: @ScribbleAddict, @TapiocaPearl, @Otherbuttons, @Eyeling, @ljwrites