I did get the Windows version of Scratch installed and it's "sort of" running - there's an empty window open that doesn't seem to be loading beyond that.

Is this whole endeavor doomed due to antiquated hardware? Is WINE the issue? Should I try to figure out how to force an old, unsupported Linux version of Adobe AIR to run? Should I try putting on an even lighter distro, risking wading out of my depths?

Any advice is appreciated!

@melpsn @Curator If it's really old it's probably half as strong as your phone.
I put Bodhi Linux on my now ten years old Eee a few years back, and it was pretty good. I don't think there's a away you can put anything Adobe on it, though.

@melpsn
I'm far from an expert, but there are many distros designed for low performance machines. Some are pretty beginner friendly too.
https://fossbytes.com/best-lightweight-linux-distros/

@melpsn

Rule 17: old computer? old software

corollary: don't try to run new software on old hardware unleaas you enjoy masochism