Courtney Birnbaum @courtney@mastodon.art

With great power, comes great responsibility, which apparently I interpreted as "edit Joe vs. the Volcano into this Conde Nast Traveler article" in 2017.

Forgot they used to be called Jedi *knights.* I much prefer Jedi days.

A fork just fell off our table and poked my corgi in the butt in the funniest way. Where’s my real-life replay button? 😫

@pantone@twitter.com Congrats, @rejectedjokes@twitter.com! 2020's your year for sure! #ClassicBlue

.@pantone@twitter.com says 2020 is the year of Sonic.

Still can’t watch this without thinking of @laytham@twitter.com’s raccoons: https://youtu.be/XJ5UVg0p_zk?t=02m24s

Actual Christmas Designs™️, including the funniest bath setup, idk why. For sale now on @redbubble@twitter.com! https://www.redbubble.com/people/harmonicacave/og-shop

(These are a few of my favorite things)

The tote bag is excellent for buying apples, pineapples, artichokes...other foods with cores. The stickers are good for any and every thing.

#BigCityGreens #TheBlueCastle #MerciBuckets

“I am great at games!,” I tell myself, as I pack the most horrible things I found in my basement into gift wrap for a white elephant party tonight

I may never be as happy doing ANYTHING as my dog is when we put him on the couch with us. What a good boy.

Me, very sincerely, every December when Spotify gives me my custom playlist: I can’t wait to listen to same 100 songs I listened to all year!

No matter what, there will always be Mr. Blue Sky. #SpotifyWrapped #RideorDieMrBlueSky #ELO

Thank you @RelientK@twitter.com for being my top-streamed Artist of the Decade! Thanks for continuing to put out great songs to listen to on repeat. #SpotifyWrapped https://open.spotify.com/wrapped/4342c2a6b70d1ea6d9b120de51d8bcd48a148130

How to become a home inspector: push your current home inspector off the roof.

CHRISTMUSSS is coming, and there’s still time to purchase from my @redbubble@twitter.com store, which includes holiday classic Better Off Dead-inspired “Merci Buckets” and other Christmas miracles/designs. https://www.redbubble.com/people/harmonicacave/og-shop

Spoiler-free #Frozen2 review:
I just came here to have a good time and I’m honestly having such a good time right now.

1870s problems:
ANOTHER meeting that could’ve been a telegram.

Chef tip: use fresh ground pepper to cover up any eggshells you might have dropped in your omelette du (or au) fromage.

I was today years old when I realized 1995's Mr. Bennet is THIS GUY and decided the Chicken Run sequel better just be another P&P:
https://drunkausten.com/2019/12/02/25-days-of-pride-prejudice-day-2/
#25Days #DrunkAusten

I missed the first day of @DrunkAusten@twitter.com's 25 Days of Pride & Prejudice challenge but WE CAN CATCH UP: https://drunkausten.com/2019/12/01/day-one/