With a seat made out of pizza boxes, I could always tweet from America's Backyard, @littlecaesars@twitter.com! It would also be great for author photos.

Twitter Explore with no context makes it seem like these are all related, and honestly, I’m not sure 5 months of jail time is enough for wearing “cool” inflatable trousers.

Make Winnie the Pooh merch for all ages and genders you cowards.

tired: adulting
wired: Krogering™️
inspired: Tom Sawyering other people into getting your chores done for you

I’ve been sick all weekend, and apparently Dr. Corgi (@TibbsNotSarge@twitter.com) is now prescribing his toys as the cure. My dog is parading each toy in the room, demonstrating how to play with it, and then crying when I don’t join him because I feel too bad/don’t want HIS germs 😂😳

I may look like an average tired adult, but inside I am always singing the @wheezywaiter@twitter.com song about Cadmium.

Me: I've finished reading that book series and can spend time with people this weekend.
The Library: 😏

I’ve spilled a drink on my new book. Send kind thoughts/paper towels. 😫😭

Harrison tipped over while fording the river. He lost:
400 bullets
3 wagon wheels
105 lbs of food

@Persuasion_JA@twitter.com @Drunk_Austen@twitter.com @ScribbleAddict@twitter.com @rationalseries@twitter.com is over here, making me feel bad about a possible Louis-falling-down-stairs moment ON VALENTIMES 😳😇

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