Courtney Birnbaum @courtney@mastodon.art

With a seat made out of pizza boxes, I could always tweet from America's Backyard, @littlecaesars@twitter.com! It would also be great for author photos.
#IWantALittleCaesarsBoxSeat #Contest

Twitter Explore with no context makes it seem like these are all related, and honestly, I’m not sure 5 months of jail time is enough for wearing “cool” inflatable trousers.

Make Winnie the Pooh merch for all ages and genders you cowards.

tired: adulting
wired: Krogering™️
inspired: Tom Sawyering other people into getting your chores done for you

I’ve been sick all weekend, and apparently Dr. Corgi (@TibbsNotSarge@twitter.com) is now prescribing his toys as the cure. My dog is parading each toy in the room, demonstrating how to play with it, and then crying when I don’t join him because I feel too bad/don’t want HIS germs 😂😳

I may look like an average tired adult, but inside I am always singing the @wheezywaiter@twitter.com song about Cadmium.

Me: I've finished reading that book series and can spend time with people this weekend.
The Library: 😏

Things are heating up in the cookie/airline business: https://www.today.com/food/united-airlines-getting-rid-its-popular-biscoff-cookies-flights-t174169

Live-Action #LoudHouse? won't it take so long to get the kids' giant head makeup on every day? 😏https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/spongebob-prequel-live-action-loud-house-movie-set-at-nickelodeon-1279863

I’ve spilled a drink on my new book. Send kind thoughts/paper towels. 😫😭

Confession: I prefer the movie tie-in cover of #ToAlltheBoys2.

Harrison tipped over while fording the river. He lost:
400 bullets
3 wagon wheels
105 lbs of food

I may be a plot device, but I’m also a woman.

Feb. 13: Galentines
Feb. 14: Valentines
Feb. 15: Oww-entines.

Everything makes sense now. https://www.olivegarden.com/specials/valentines-day-dinner #Sonic #ValentinesDay

@Persuasion_JA@twitter.com @Drunk_Austen@twitter.com @ScribbleAddict@twitter.com @rationalseries@twitter.com is over here, making me feel bad about a possible Louis-falling-down-stairs moment ON VALENTIMES 😳😇

For those of a Jane Austen #Persuasion this Valentine's Day:

This tweet brought to you by Olive Garden.

Sonic! Is a good!! Video game movie??? #sonicthehedgehogmovie