I figured out that #procrastination, for me, is often related to trying to conserve my emotional energy for nebulous, unpredictable emergencies, not so much to do with the task at hand. It's because of past trauma.
So for me, procrastination is basically a miscalibrated form of #selfcare, but differently miscalibrated than in many theories about why people procrastinate.
I feel like I am just starting to reap the benefits of this knowledge.
procrastination, self care, trauma, abusive parent Show more
It isn't "argh this task is unpleasant" so much as "this task will use 20% of my remaining emotional energy, but it's only 3pm and if my stepdad comes home in a bad mood I will need those reserves for staying safe".
I haven't lived with him for 20 years, but I was very young when he came into my life.