after all i decided to watch silly old series and draw at the same time)
new art is on ~

Deadline is so soon but I don't want to draw (><) game is more interesting right now.
Maybe I could try switching between playing and drawing every hour or so

Today I did same for my other char, and had worst time possible. It was not harder, not easier, and I think took a little less time. Why I felt different?

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Why sometimes I react differently in same situation?
A few weeks ago I did hard thing in game to get pretty armor (had to fight real people) and even though it took a lot of time and I was awful at it, I was okay.

When I complained about it to someone close, they got mad at me. I don't understand why and now feel much worse

I'm so frustrated with myself. I want to do so much, learn something new, or try new ways of art, but my stupid body never have enough energy for that! I hate that I have to take so much breaks, hate that everyone around me seem to get things done more easily

“She's a tangled mess of wild- a forest nymph, a goddess child.”

for Hungermythos of her Lavendula

i'm forgetting to post art here. using this account only for vent now.
but i don't have any other place where i can cry and not worry that someone i know will see it

Also won one little fight with fear.
I was worried that I irritate my partner with one phrase I like repeating, asked about it, got answer that it's okay.
So, no more holding back.
I will repeat it till my grave

Looks like my worst thoughts take me over when I have serious lack of sleep and food.
I had a long rest and good meal and life doesn't look bad anymore

I hate that I always doubt my partners love. My mind telling me that everything is good just remember little things they do. But something in me keeps asking - is that real? Maybe it was like that a moment ago, but not now? I hate that fear.

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