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I have decided to compromise my values and finally enter into a compact with the Great Corporate Satan, and have now got Paramount+ running in Google Chrome on Ubuntu Studio 20.04.
My new word of the week is "skeevy". Skeevy trackers, skeevy DRM, skeevy streaming interface, skeevy advertisements. Anti-features all over the place. Dark patterns galore. This is truly a product of the Evil One.
On the plus side, I've now been able to binge watch "Star Trek: Lower Decks", season 2.